The risks and opportunities of love born online
Virtual relationships were dating agencies, but the desire to find a soul mate flourished since before the advent of the Internet. Today with even more danger
Love is one of those subjects on which there can be no experts but on which we all feel expert. Do you know the mythical marriage agencies of the 90s? Those, to be clear, that Marta Flavi made a business? Well, before the use of online chats spread, dating agencies were the main channel for people looking for a partner, with a profile, a personal ad and a real search for a soul mate. thanks to the use of complicated algorithms with which we play quietly on our smartphone today.
Finding gay singles on our LGBT app? Anyone who has attempted to approach the world of online dating at least once knows how very intriguing a virtual love story can be. Mainly because it leaves a lot of room for the imagination.
In fact, even if we don’t realize it, it’s our fantasy that fills in the ambiguities left by the other person and guides our thoughts. Much more than in real life. It is very easy to interpret in our favor and to love what the other lets show through and understand: the virtual, in this sense, immediately prevails over the attractiveness of real life.
Who among us would not choose the most beautiful fantasies and dreams over the monotony of everyday life? It is undeniable even for those who want to have little to do with the virtual world that digital sociality opens up new opportunities for knowledge: a recent study on the genesis of couple relationships, cited in the book Digital Love by Raimondo Aiello, Rossella Dolce and Fiorenzo Pillai, proves that the cases in which you know each other online are booming.
In fact, among heterosexual couples, contact on the Web is the second most common form of meeting with a percentage of 23%. In short, it would seem that without the Internet, we wouldn’t be able to meet new people.
Online dating and romance
But it’s not all roses and just like speed dating, online dating doesn’t have much to do with romance: emoji flirting has nothing to do with kisses, hugs, caresses and caresses. And while one of the perks of internet love is being able to be more candid and direct, it is also true that the emotional component is.
In other words, virtual dates are certainly not able to make us feel the sensations that derive from a face to face encounter, but they still manage to elicit similar emotions. Or, at least, projections based on what each of us might feel if the situation was experienced in reality: at the moment of a click, a conversation with a stranger suddenly turns into a kind of enchanted space in which to live. his relationship. But you can join monsitederencontregay.
Thus, message after message, the simple sharing of personal experiences of “complete strangers” becomes a desire to meet and a place of growth in a “world” where stimuli travel to a thousand and where the satisfaction of one’s ego is essential.
All comfortably seated on the sofa at home or in any case away from prying eyes, in a parallel reality where the concrete and digital dimensions have a very fleeting border but where virtual love today seems to have a mysterious appeal. which places him halfway between the “transgressive” and the “pervert” and which fascinates many. At least until he meets this mixture of real factors of contact, meeting and acquaintance, without which a love affair cannot exist.
From Freud to the Web
In short, the need to love and to be loved was already the only possibility in Freud’s time, but the way to achieve it changes from decade to decade: millennials only need dating apps but overlap with the culture of hooking. up “, that is, casual sex.
Not that it didn’t exist before, but it is increasingly becoming a perspective of the digital world where control is only an illusion and surprises are not always so pleasant: catfish, for example, or fake profiles. , which only seek to trick people, undermining their self-esteem and creating scenarios of fragility typical of web dynamics such as affective scams and sextortion, primarily affect women. It is a scam in which the victim’s trust, affection and then love is stolen in order to extort money from them.